FRUtalk 666 and the URSC ‘barbecue’
Shock and consternation in the URSC upper echelons at the barbecue that never was.
Striding into the Ravenhill long bar on Saturday afternoon, ex Springbok and Ulster second row Johann Muller declared the proposed barbecue officially a braai.
“It’s called a barbecue in these parts,” stormed Cap’n Grumpy in his best broad Belfast accent at the retreating Muller who appeared oblivious to persuasion.
I was attending the BBQ, sorry braai as a URSC member and undercover FRUtalk reporter, hoping to pick up some tasty nuggets of information was well as boerwurst.
The afternoon was not without its shocks as Craig Gilroy’s non appearance at the AGM to pick up his bursary cheque for £2000 led to it being redirected to Ballpark for services to ………. (insert whatever comes to mind).
Commented URSC chairman Kimble, “I’ll just score out C. Gilroy on the cheque and write in Ballpark as the recipient of this fine award.”
Ballpark was happy to pose for photos with the chairman and the cheque and as can be seen from the photo they make a happy couple. (The cheque and Ballpark that is!)
I can report the food wasn’t bad and the 75 souls who appeared at the event seemed happy enough at the proceedings.
No-one rates us – good!
As Ulster’s season has begun to run on almost parallel lines to Munster’s and Leinster’s season so the Irish media’s attention has focussed on bitching about Ulster’s spending power and the signing of foreigners.
It’s almost as if only Munster and Leinster can sign big names. Rocky Elsom received all the plaudits and rightly so for his performances in a Leinster shirt and no mention of him doing Irish flankers out of a place in a successful team.
No mention of Stan Wright preventing the blooding of local props or Micheal Cheika, Tony McGahan and Joe Schmidt preventing the grooming of home grown coaches.
No mention either of Munster’s backline containing few home grown players or of the big name signings in Cullen and Howlett holding back developing Irish players.
Nor bizarrely does the development of Nevin Spence, Luke Marshall and Craig Gilroy as young Irish players of promise being given big time rugby experience, rate column inches from the Irish media.
Instead what we have today is the Sunday Times talking about a Munster v Leinster final in the Magner’s play off. They don’t rate us except in a negative kind of way and my hope is the Ulster team use this as motivation.
I predict an Ulster v Ospreys Magners final.
All time great Welsh rugby bouts:
I have sufficient material in my locker to recall some of the worst Welsh behaviour on and off a rugby pitch. Here are my recollections of some of the best bouts:
Unidentified Welsh wing forward v Noisey Murphy
Circa 1968, I was still in short trousers, when I happened upon a rugby match on TV in a shop window on the Lisburn Road. I recall it was Ireland versus Wales and the Irish were playing for the Triple Crown.
Noisy Murphy was knocked unconscious in the first half of this bout.
There were no subs, citing officers or retrospective justice and Ireland lost, having played most of the game with 14 men.
Welsh FRU v the Rest of The World
In the 1970’s the Welsh front row took no prisoners as the terminology went and men like Bobby and Graham Price knew how to mix it with the best pugilist front rows.
Ringer v Horton
It was the circa the 1980’s and Paul Ringer earned himself national disgrace by clothes hanging Horton the English full back and getting himself red carded at Twickenham.
A difficult job to be red carded in those days so it must have been bad!
Copsey v Francis
Irish journalist and TV pundit Neil Francis was in those days a fine lineout exponent but hopelessly incapable of looking after himself and didn’t see it coming.
A smart uppercut at a lineout, by Welsh second row Copsey in the first half of this bout, saw Francis waking up on the turf and taking no further part in the game.
Not too sure if this clouding of Francis senses has impacted on his journalistic career ever since!!
Brive v Pontypridd
In the 1990’s, the Welsh capacity for a fight remain undimmed and this time Pontypridd did their fighting on the pitch at Brive and off it after the match with the French willing participants.
As I recall, one Gareth Thomas was a central figure in the action, being called to account in a French court.
Gareth Thomas v Eddie Butler/ Johnathon Davies/Scrum V
Questioned about his role in Ruddock gate and the removal of Welsh coach Ruddock, Thomas lost his cool on TV in the face of questioning from Eddie Butler and Johnathon Davies. He later lost the run of himself at home and ended up hospitalised.
Gareth Thomas v Glynncommando
A year or so later he lost it again in the supporting bout to the infamous Brennan versus Bamford/Ulster supporters.
Thomas squared up to Ulster supporter Glynncommando during the Heineken Cup group match between Ulster and Toulouse.
Attempting to enter the stand, Thomas once again produced one of his vein bulging cameos in support of his ‘mate’ Brennan who had ‘gamely’ waded into the crowd and repeatedly punched, an unsuspecting Ulster supporter.
For his attempt to enter the crowd at Toulouse, Thomas cried his way through his hearing and got off lightly with a 6 week ban from the game.
Gavin Henson v Matthew Tait
Famous for picking up rookie international Matthew Tait and running with him instead of the ball aka Webb Ellis style, Henson won plaudits from the adoring Welsh media and public.
Where Tait’s career has assumed a steady if unspectacular journey ever since, Henson’s by contrast has assumed a state of near farce.
Off the pitch he was involved in squabbles with teammates, retired from rugby and re-entered the game in a blaze of newsprint.
In between he had a high profile marriage failure and appeared on TV reality shows.
To sum up: Never in the field of rugby union, has so much column inches been generated off the pitch in direct proportion to unfulfilled potential on it.
Andy Powell v A motorway in a golf buggy v QPR supporters
Andy drove into the headlines with his adventures on a golf buggy and a motorway after a few drinks and having rehabilitated himself after that escapade found himself once more in the drink.
Down and out courtesy of QPR football supporters, in a blow to his manly image, Powell was knocked unconscious and is now looking for another club.
That well known doyen of immaculate behaviour on and off the pitch, Gareth Thomas called a suspension of reality last week by requesting players to behave themselves on and off the pitch and set an example.
Obviously not citing himself as an example, GT nevertheless kept a straight face and will probably set himself up as a counsellor in good behaviour drawing on his own dubious past experiences!!
Corrections, comments or questions?