My preview of last Sunday’s game against the Dragons was all about the Cracklin’ Rosie and how the old pub, The Rosetta to give it its correct name, had fairly buzzed as Ulster strode towards what belatedly was their last win against Welsh opposition on Welsh soil. That was back in 2006 and coincidentally against the Dragons.
So it was last Sunday afternoon on the cusp of a new season the faithful, well some 35+ of them gathered to watch the latest instalment of Ulster’s Magner’s journey. Borne aloft with flighty notions of success based on a pre-season of wins against Premiership opponents including an away win in England we were girded with optimism that at long last the long walk from the darkness of persistent and consistent failure would finally end with a win.
The pre-season featured resolute defence and breathtaking try scoring as the twin pillars of performance likely to reap rewards. We were, some of us at least not too carried away by all the hype, but nevertheless there were reasons to be cheerful.
Reasons to be cheerful never made it past part 1 as all the stanchions upon which the performance had been built collapsed, as if booby trapped by hope and optimism. I wrote in my preview about Cracklin’ Rosie the drink, which reservation Indians in Canada resort to on a Saturday night when they can’t find a partner for the dance. No amount of liquor could hide the painful paucity of Ulster’s performance last Sunday afternoon. It was as if the positives in pre-season conspired to blow up in your face just as you had talked yourself round to believing the Ulster rugby could bestow the pre-season good bits unto the competitive playing field. Alas no, cracklin’ Rosie never burst into life despite the good natured efforts of Boys on Tour as they menfully strode to bring zing to the rugby bling being presented on screen.
Ulster a few rolling mauls apart, fell apart under dithering directionless stewardship, with the forwards isolated and out muscled and the backs reaping little momentum as a result. Our defence which had been so highly commended pre season simply wasn’t there when required whilst the much vaunted pre season attack failed to ignite with chances few and far between. Those chances that did present themselves were squandered by lack of cutting edge, clinical precision.
Sadly there’s not a lot more to be said as McGlocks vented his anger, calling the players rabbits in headlights and the Humph fumed and fizzled whilst Buzz had the players anxious about the training sessions this week. The Rosie needless to say failed to crackle as the reality of defeat loomed long before 80 minutes was up on the clock.
It was more cacklin’ Rosie than cracklin’ as the ghosts of seasons past echoed round the old pub with all the derision of spirits who like to remind you of all your old fears and bad visions. Truly the spectre of rugby lite and its failings, when the opposition flood the rucks and slow the ball up forcing Ulster to aimlessly blatter away round the fringes going nowhere, reared its ugly head last Sunday afternoon. I had at least the pleasure of meeting Dergman, a measured fellow, little given to hyperbole, exaggeration or grand phrases and his companion old Annadalian whose real name has once again has escaped me.
So it is this evening I must perform the ritual of putting on the Ulster shirt and cap. With hand on heart and head held high in mock grandeur, I will wind my way towards the Rosie, more through a sense of duty than a rollick of realism. Perhaps Dewi will introduce me to the Raging Raven who’s hand I would hope to shake before stepping back in case he explodes especially if it’s at the end of the game! Ulster needs every man jack of us to keep the faith and hold the line in the face of adversity because make no mistake we are on a potential hiding this evening at the Liberty unless there is a focussing of minds and a resolute belief that we can compete. If we can’t gain parity at the breakdown, a tough enough job given their back row then we may as well sit and watch X Factor because at least we might see competitors performing however limited their ability. So hope to see all my readers, all 2 of them, plus Dewi’s groupies in the Rosie this evening.
As BJ Botha might say, watch me go!
Corrections, comments or questions?