THE WAITING GAME

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Time Waits for Nothing

There’s something in the air In Belfast. The oul timers will recognise it as a feint stirring of secreted passion amongst the ordinary town folk of forgotten dreams and memories.

Through the past weeks they’ve been absorbed in celebrating disaster, though not quite going overboard about the sinking of the ship their grandfathers built. You know the one that splintered beneath the glassy surface of a bitterly cold ocean, with a colossus loss of life.

The celebration of the ship they built, that sank, when they claimed it was almost unsinkable is a reminder that nothing is ever definitive.

Though the ship is gone they carry on, for the spirit’s dimmed never broken. It should be noted that the once great shipyard that constructed the Titanic is now a shadow of its former shipbuilding supremacy.

A reminder it wasn’t just the ship that was fallible but also the mighty industry that spawned it, failed to sustain its fabled reputation.

Perhaps it’s a metaphor for sporting success and how to maintain your position at the top of the tree. Change is inevitable, executing that change and when is the key to failure or success.

A metaphor for Ulster rugby and how we failed to capitalise on our sporting success of 1999 – until now perhaps?

 

Sheriff McGlocks Rides theTidal Wave of Sympathy in Tombstone

A stone’s throw away from the disaster celebrations rumbles another side show in Tombstone Belfast………

In the other story, Sheriff McGlocks tries to quell speculation about the showdown at the OK Aviva.

“There’s the small matter of the Mexicans arriving on Friday night,” he drawls, “furthermore, the Mexicans are the biggest draw around!” he speculates trying to realign focus.

It’s no use of course, Sheriff McGlocks behaves like a latter day King Canute. It is a futile effort to dampen the enthusiasm of Tombstone’s inhabitants for the visit to Mexico rather than the Mexicans visit in the coming days.

Beneath the other story is another story, where Sheriff McGlocks is due to have his sheriff duties terminated by Mayor Humphreys as the Mayor continues his quest to make Tombstone Belfast’s name great again.

The Mexican hacks have taken an unseemly interest in this local power struggle. They speculate that should Sheriff McGlocks win the shootout at the OK Aviva then Mayor Humphreys will have egg all over his face, or salt and vinegar to use a more apt local mixture.

The good folk of Tombstone Belfast go about their humble lives with traditional stoicism and despite the impending visit of the Mexicans on Friday are actually looking ahead to the showdown with the Cannucks at the OK Aviva.

They will have to journey south to Mexican territory to witness this shootout. A posse led by Sheriff McGlocks had to venture south and west Saturday week ago for a set to with the Connacht clan.

Without the magnificent 7 riding shotgun, the clan handed out a bit of a bloody nose.

“Last week we took a bit of a gamble and it didn’t quite pay off for us,” intoned the sheriff. In fact he might have sent a stronger posse and saw off the clan but the sheriff has his priorities.

Perhaps that’s why the Mayor Humphreys is replacing him.

 

Every Iron Horse in Town Commandeered

Every iron horse and more is being commandeered by the good folk of Tombstone and beyond to ride down to Mexico for the shootout at the Aviva.

Even those folk who don’t usually go to shootouts are curious enough to get on the horse and ride out. There has been a bit of a scramble for ringside seats at the event but given the Aviva’s capacity for seats, everyone will be seen to by Saturday, April 28th 2012.

Many of Tombstone’s older generation can remember the time they marched, south to the old OK Aviva and won a shootout against the Hugenots.

Briefly in the 20th century Tombstone was famous for something other than fighting.

Now they are on the cusp of glory once again and the townsfolk are rallying to the flag of the red hand.

Why, just yesterday evening a drunk rolled down the street singing:

“I was born under a wandering hand” he spluttered,

“I was bor-orn under a wandering hand,”

“Want to know where hell is,” he plaintively asked.

“Hell is on the hill,” answering his own question.

“Want to know to where heaven is?” he asked,

“heaven is Ravenhill,” as he ran out of inspiration.

It’s a sign the good oul boys are warming up their tonsils and their lungs, not to mention lubricating their throats in advance of the big event.

Mercifully this wannabee z factor choral singer merged into the blackness of the night, a portent of things to come should the townfolk of Tombstone Belfast triumph way down south.

 

Mexicans Storm Tombstone Belfast and Leave Again

As I type the Mexicans have been and gone leaving the Ulster posse minus some of their magnificent 7 with another bloody nose, not to mention some walking wounded.

Missus Parky who was conferencing in Belfast last Friday afternoon witnessed the Mexican posse train rumble into Tombstone Belfast in their wagon train.

Not a rugby fan in the grand manner of Mr.Parky, it’s fair to say though, Missus Parky knows her BOD’s from the journeymen and can report there was no sign of the ‘blessed’ Brian O’Driscoll.

“Musta been upstairs in the wagon combing his hair!” was all she would say, somewhat cryptically. Critically she reported two of the Mexicans throwing a tennis ball at each other in the back of the wagon train.

“Practicing their ball handling skills then,” I ventured.

“One of them kept dropping it,” she replied waspishly.

On second thoughts, I wonder could it have been Caroline and Rory hitching a lift into town with the Mexicans?

 

Viva L’Aviva

With the small matter of the Mexicans out of the way, all eyes focus firmly on the Aviva and Edinburgh. Whilst Ulster are favourites, this is no walkover.

Thankfully I suspect most folk with a little rugby knowledge will have noted the stark difference between Edinburgh’s PRO 12 form and cup form.

Much like Connaught when Micheal Bradley coached them, they used to do spectacularly well in the second tier European competition. Regularly beating French opposition in their own backyard but falling short when they got to the business end of the competition.

With so many ‘fans’ joining the bandwagon late on, it will be hard to quell a sense of invincibility developing.

Hopefully the regulars will spread the mood of caution amongst those who think a trip to the Aviva is a coronation of Ulster’s progress to the final.

Edinburgh lie in wait the ultimate no-hopers who are there at the top table as interlopers waiting to be dealt with in spectacular fashion. This is in fact a booby trap primed by over confidence waiting to explode in Ulster’s faces.

For me it is that we (Ulster) play to our full potential then we will deliver a knockout blow to Edinburgh that will confirm our right to dine out at the top table.

Stand Up & be counted.

 

 


8 responses to “THE WAITING GAME”

  1. GlynnCommando

    Another good piece Parky. As for being a better singer than Mr Marvin – i’m not so sure….but the bearded and grizzled look is coming along nicely, thank you. After stunning the locals in Thomond with a rousing rendition of the “Fields of Ballynafeigh”, i may have to extend my repertoire to include “I was born under a wandering hand…”
    Right – i’m off. Got a lotta motivational stuff to post on various forums 🙂
    See you all, Standing Up – loud and proud in Dublin. SUFTU!!!

  2. Flat-top

    In all fairness I suppose I should have mentioned there is one game worth watching over here on the small island come Saturday, the customary ‘walk-over’ that is the Army v Navy for The Babcock Trophy. I just hope they don’t wreck the pitch too much before young Trimble gets his chance to show us what he’s got at Twickenham on the 19th May.

    Go Army!

    24632639 SUFTUM

  3. parky

    SUFTUM Mr. Junty, possibly bump into you on Saturday, a sense of anticipation starting to build.

    Stand Up and Be Counted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. junty

      Parky – hopefully see you on Saturday have the 2 ‘cubs / minders’ to look after me – Anticipation definately building. We’ll be standing up loud and proud .. SUFTUM

  4. parky

    Hi FT, generous as ever.

    Don’t see too much correlation twixt Lee Marvin and Mr. Commando as I suspect GC can actually sing!! Then again if he cultivates his hirsute chin a little more and gravels his voice a shade he might just pass bluster!! 😆

    The distinct lack of rugger in Engerlund has slipped under my radar as I’ve been a bit pre-occupied with more weighty matters such as what amount of clothing to wear for Saturday etc.
    Must check the weather 😎

    See you Saturday if you can be spotted amidst the Ulster hordes?!!

  5. Flat-top

    Excellent musings Mr Ballpark, think you might just have hit the old nail square on “Perhaps that’s why the Mayor Humphreys is replacing him”.

    “Wandring Hand” I shall wait with anticipation to see if you can get that little ditty adopted by the faithful, your best bet is to get Glyncommado to learn the words and then in his role as chief cheerleader and rouser we will all follow suit.

    …enjoyable read matey…thought you might have mentioned the distinct lack of rugby this week in Engerluund, must be because their teams are out of all meaningful competitions

    see you on Saturday.

    😈

    1. junty

      In total agreement with you Flat top – another excellent piece from Parky.
      Wandering hand … …classic and i’m sure that mr glynn commando, like the rest of us, will be in full voice on Sat evening in Dublin ….. don’t know how the voice will sound on Sun morn but by then hopefully (barring a major disaster) we’ll be booking our final tickets etc..
      See you Sat mate. 😉 and as always SUFTUM

  6. parky

    What a great pic, looks like Wanneburg, Ferris, Best and Henry (he’s the one with a slight limp!) arriving into the Aviva.

    Well maybe not but……..

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