Shooting Stars and Showtime!

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The, now customary, dancing girls greet the prize winners at the Front Row Union Awards!

SHOW TIME!

Saturday night heralded the 6th Annual Front Row Union Awards held at the Newforge Country Club.  I was fortunate enough to receive a ticket to this by now well established, prestigious event. 

The evening followed the usual format of pre dinner drinks, dinner and presentation of the awards, followed by much hob knobbing amongst the guests, some swallowing of disappointment by non recipients of awards and copious swallowing of vast amounts of wine.

I noticed this year that the editor of the FRU has become like a Chief Executive presenting his business plan for the incoming year and totting up the successful year just past.

From such humble beginnings as a housing development in Larne, the FRU has grown to be the global phenomenon it is today. 

Armed with a mouse and a microphone, Chief Executive McMurtry reeled of the statistics to wild applause.

They make truly amazing reading. 

  • Over 6 million hits on the site in the year just past and 100,000 page reads per month.
  • Visitors from 103 countries are now looking in on the website.
  • 9 cities in Australia have visitors to the site.

(This was an interesting one as I could only think of about 5 cities in Aussie).

  • 21 regions in France visit the site.

These were the ones that stuck in my mind but I’m sure there are others that better demonstrate the success and growth of the FRU brand.

No gala night would of course be complete without the glitterati who turn up in their droves to be seen at this prestigious event.  

President Kimble was missing, the ubiquitous head of the supporters club, having had his itinerary re-arranged. I’m sure his thoughts were with us, as he would have wondered whether Monsieur Stella would turn up this year and ‘regale’ the CEO with his repartee.

As it happened Mr Stella was there alright in the guise of Dergman  with his accomplice John E King, whom remained more circumspect than usual.  

There was less heckling of the CEO’s presentation this year mainly due to the amazing statistics being presented and the controlling influence of Mrs Dergman!!

Glynncommando and Flat Top wore similar shirts, all flowers with no colour and I was unable to spot a conspiracy as there weren’t enough flowery monochrome shirts present to arouse suspicion.

Dergman can be reasonably happy with his evening’s work as he won the disaster of the year award which was accompanied on the screen with a picture of him slumped over a bar table.

It’s an award of course and shouldn’t be sniffed at. 

Boys on Tour won the ‘leg of the year’ and performed a carefully choreographed Riverdance on stage which consisted of them showing their calf muscles.   

I can report none of the Ulster Women’s XV fainted when confronted with this peculiar sight. 

The Ulster Women’s XV were represented by some of the players who had failed to beat Leinster earlier in the day at Ravenhill. I can report they looked very glamorous and completely debunked the clichéd image of women rugby players .

Lastly, hello Junty and a big thank you to John McMurtry, editor, Chief Executive and all round top man, without whose dedication the FRU wouldn’t be in existence let alone survive in its current healthy state!

RABOTime

Friday night’s match by common consensus, saw Ulster put away an inferior Glasgow side whose main tactic, was to punt the ball skyward towards Ian Whitten.  The big centre dealt with almost everything that came his way on the wing and returned some of the kicks with interest.

There was evident rustiness amongst the players, especially those coming back from injury such as iHumph. Good performances from Chewey in the loose and Henry, Spence & Cave, as industry personified.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Forum

Multiple UAFC messageboard postee, Jackie Brown posted recently.  Nothing unusual there, except it was more than 140 characters long, sounded uncharacteristically sensible and didn’t mention Munsterfans once!!  

Keep up the good work Jackie!!

Shooting Stars

Some ‘facts’ about John E King, (JEK), aka Hockey Boy, FRU stalwart and Ulster Rugby supporter. Which are true? You decide.

 [poll id=”9″]

El Monty Meets Kimble

I introduced former UR messageboard personality El Monty to former UR messageboard personality and URSC chairman, The Original Kimble on the Terrace last Friday.

Talk about strangers in the night!!

Cup Time

The rugby world cup starts this week and is generally being greeted with all the enthusiasm of a church fete, donkey derby!

Slow Time

I had been at my younger brother to go out for a collaborative cycle with me.  He being in possession of an expensive road racing cycle of the sort where, if you have to ask the price, you can’t afford one. 

It’s all aluminium frame, carbon forks and shiny gearing.   My hybrid cycle by contrast is a bit like a garden gate on wheels!

He rang me on the eve of the FRU awards Gala to say he would be cycling up from Carrickfergus to Ballygowan the next day and then on for a 20 mile ride through the drumlins of County Down.

No capuccino stops or rest breaks, or any of that sh** “,  he rasped down the phone.

By Saturday evening I was feeling considerable intrepidation as to what might happen when I pedalled out with Nemesis, as I’ll call him. 

A conversation with the experienced but temporarily retired cyclist, Dergman at the awards night, did little to invigorate my waning confidence.

Sunday morning arrived, featuring lack of sleep, upset tummy from too much wine and beer and an even greater fear of being ridden into the ground.

Nemesis duly arrived at the Ballygowan roundabout and we set off into a headwind for the 10 mile pedal to Killyleagh.   Very soon I was gasping for air as the previous night’s exertions caught up with me. 

Nemesis was pedalling in the languid style of one who has superior machinery and knows it.    Turning 10 revolutions and then 5 revolutions back pedalling, Nemesis ate up the undulating country road.   Gradually he became a distant speck, still turning 10 revolutions and back pedalling.

I finally caught up on a downward stretch into Killyleagh, where against his obvious better judgement and previous day’s declaration, he stopped to wait for me.

The cycle back towards Ballygowan via Killinchy was infinitely better as I had my 5th wind and a tailwind.  We stopped briefly at the brother-in-law’s and departed with the words, “two fat bar stewards,” ringing in our ears.

Nemesis waved goodbye at the Ballygowan roundabout and pedalled off towards Carrickfergus, still turning 10 revolutions and back pedalling.

I remain undeterred, dear reader, from taking to the roads on my lowly hybrid cycle.    I’ll return next season on a new and slicker cycle, determined to reel Nemesis back into the peleton, where he belongs


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