A WEEK A LONG TIME IN RUGBY

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They say a week’s a long time in politics, in rugby it can seem like a month. I typed that a few days ago and by Thursday felt like the good living folk of Tombstone waiting for a showdown.  By Saturday prolonged catharsis had been replaced by buoyant optimism. 

Yes a week can be a long time in rugby but Friday evening arrived in a flurry of cloud, heavy rain showers, a decent crowd and a blast of sunshine.  It still felt a bit like Autumn even though there was something of the first joys of spring about Ulster’s exuberant performance.

A predicted strong performance by a strong-looking Harlequins team led to fears of a lashing for Ulster’s youthful looking backline.  Indeed the opening minutes did little to allay those fears. 

It was a good game to watch, with fewer knock-ons than one might reasonably expect for a pre season friendly.  The game ebbed and flowed with Ulster getting the scores that mattered on the scoreboard and eventually dominated the game.

There were plenty of performances to talk about not the least the excitable ferret’s game.  People tend to talk of Paul Marshall as though he’s still a school’s level prospect.    Partly because of his diminutive appearance but also due to his tendencies to mix the sublime with the bad in a way that youngster’s do from inexperience and the exuberance of youth.

It is time to sharpen the pencil and apply a critical slide rule over the Marshall game. Do I sound like Neil ‘the caustic’ Francis, well why not, as needs must, one should occasionally descend into feral scrutiny.

Marshall’s game mixed the old traits with the nippiness we have come to expect of the scrum half.  Whipping the ball away in the early stages of the game, kept the backline moving in well-drilled fashion.   A few sniping breaks here and some big tackles there for such a small in stature player, confirmed all positive aspects of his game we know and love, were in fine fettle.

As the game wore on, so the passing became more ragged, with Humph in generous fashion picking the ball off his toes and catching another one over his head.  The tap and goes demonstrated the management side of the Marshall game remains a work in progress.  

One cannot understand why the management aren’t more pro active in working on the lad’s mental aspect of the game.  Perhaps the Marshall game is a 60 minute one for by this stage his mind becomes frayed and as a result his game suffers.

His break for the try was superb, as he sensed the space on the blindside and this side of his game is to be commended.  Overall the game management skills still come up short but if we can get 60 minutes out of him minus the mindless tap and runs at penalty time then it augurs well for the coming months.

Overall Ulster’s performance was encouraging as once the pack got to grips with a physical Harlequins eight, then the game became a contest with Ulster and Cave in particular showing some form.

Was impressed too with Patrick Jackson who doesn’t look out of place at this level at all and hopefully we are beginning to develop strength in depth at 10.

All round a night to be pleased for Ulster and hopefully the level of awareness, especially amongst the pack, carries through into the tougher hunting grounds of the PRO12.

One irritation I did have were the number of times the ball was kicked when there were overlaps outside the player kicking.  More often than not this simply handed possession to the Hairyqueens. Not a pretty sight and one I do not care to be repeated in PRO 12.

Grousebeaters Not on Kidney’s Bean Counter

Speaking to Insider the other night and I asked him if he was disappointed not to be packing his bags for New Zealand.

“Kidney probably saw me traipsing to the burger van at Ravers,” sighed Insider philosophically. 

“Sure, he musta missed your carry of that pint all of 15 metres, shortly after you’d stormed your way to the bar,” I replied.

As for Scrumstretcher, his clearing out of the old lady checking tickets at the Aquinas gate has gone unnoticed by the Ireland management.   He remains on standby should Sean O’Brien not make it.  Old ladies look out!!!   

Ballpark, has dropped out of Kidney’s plans altogether after failing to hear instructions to use his money at the bar and buy a pint.  3 times he was told to use it and failed to notice before being ejected from the beer tent for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile Insider is religiously keeping up to speed by reading the bible.  He’s searching for the chapter and verse that will smite Kidney between the eyes with a stone from a sling.

Tackling England’s’ Tackling’

Ireland minus the Grousebeaters failed to win a 4th consecutive warm up game as the match warmed up in ways not normally associated with Rugby Union values. 

Ireland were crap and England were cynical.  Their off the ball play had all the fingerprints of Martin Johnson at his most virulent.   Some people revere Johnson, I believe he is a thug and retains those values in management.  

Yesterday we saw a limited England side display all the virtues of a team who have forgotten how to play rugby.  Croft should have been off the pitch and as for Tuilagi, I’m growing ever more disenchanted with the tendency to excuse some of his tackling as a classic example of his Samoan heritage.

He leads with the shoulder and tends to drive upwards.   He was not the only culprit as the pictures below show.   Decisions by the touch judge to penalise Irish tacklers for ‘high tackles which weren’t is shown up as nonsense by the type of English tackle pictured below.

Ferris was penalised for managing to tackle a falling player round the neck whilst Earls was punished for a non existent high tackle and as can be seen from the pictures below you have got to wonder whether the TJ who called the Irish offences shouldn’t go to Specsavers or else he was like some Irish lineouts, plain crooked.

Don’t let the kids see these pics!!

Time To Go When They Say….!

There was an article in the Sports section of the Guardian along the lines of excuses made for sportsmen who begin to get a bit long in the tooth.  Using cricket as his sport of choice the writer gave examples such as the fast bowler who stops striving for all out pace and opts for accuracy instead.

This brought to mind some old hoary rugby chestnuts such as the 2nd row who does ‘unseen’ work,  i.e. he isn’t seen in the loose.   How about the loosehead who’s great in the set piece, i.e. he goes from scrum to lineout and does feck all in between. 

Best of all is when you start your career on the wing and end up as a prop.   Now that’s what I call long in the tooth and large in the waistband!!


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