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The story continues of one young man’s quest for World Domination!

April 2010

To Do: Buy a Bokke

The dammed Taffs are certainly causing problems with my World Domination Plan!

Another two defeats at HQ and to top it all that Xavier cove goes and scores against his future employers. I knew you couldn’t trust them dammed Welshies – I’ll certainly be having a word with him when he arrives. So Welshland still remains unconquered and to top it all we lost half of Scottishland as well with Glasgow Wanderers doing us over at Furryhill! I’ve slipped WDP out to eight years and told David to get us another Boer – or Bokke as he calls them. He said he has one in mind, Ruan Pienaar, who’ll replace that long haired fella Isaac who was looking a contract.

Things picked up towards the end of the month when we beat the other half of the Scotties with another win over Edinborough which seemingly means we’ve qualified for the European campaign for another season so I’ll be able to lead the troops on raids on foreign fields. Better make sure the old mess kit is spick and span.

That funny little Kimble chap insisted that I addressed the riff raff at something called the Supporters Club Annual General Meeting. Took along David, Snapper Dickson (to capture my statesman like performance), and some guy called Brian who seems to hang round the team. I must say it was a strange meeting. That Kimble chap told me it was going to be a full turn out but the meeting was held in the broom cupboard at Newforge. Couldn’t get the computer thingy to work so I had to wing it and when I started to tell them about my plans for world domination some old beardy man kept interrupting quoting facts and figures. Put me off my stride but they did seem to be impressed when I told them about my plan for my turning the car park into a European Food Village of Culture!

Season’s nearly over, though most other teams seem to have more matches left than us! Snapper Dickson tells me that if  we beat the Eire Republic side Cork Connachts then we will finish at our highest point in the Magners League for three years!

May 2010

To Do: Buy another Bokke

I’m glad to say that I rallied the troops enough to beat the Cork Connachts by an almost world breaking score to put us 8th in the Magners League. Our highest finish for three years so obviously my firm hand is beginning to count. All journeys start with a single step so I think we’ve made a magnificent start to World Domination! It may take a few years but it’s only a matter of time.

No sooner had World Domination looked as though it was starting to fall into place than we hit another SNAFU with that damned Xavier cove. I always knew you couldn’t trust them damned Taffs – seems the same thing can be said for their women!

Told David to just go out and buy another Bokke and now that we’ve got that Pienaar chap and Muller chap and BJ chap and Diack chap we’ll soon be able to form our own platoon of specialist shock troops.

June 2010

To Do: Organise European Campaign.

Most of this month is taken up organising the European Campaign for my World Domination Plan as we’ve now games against the Frogs and the Eyties as well as Bath City again. Oh yes! Having already conquered England, the Eire Republic and part of Scottishland it will be good to see the Red Hand flag of the United Kingdom of Ulster fly over foreign fields.

I was so excited that I got out my Military Campaign Map and coloured red all the places we’re going to conquer next season and believe me it was a very red map by the time I finished.

I was so pleased with my efforts that I hung the map up in my office next to my picture of the Queen and I called in David, that Brian fella who hangs round with the troops and seems at a bit of a loose end these days and some chap called Buzz, who seems very quiet but shouts a lot at the troops. They all seemed very pleased with my map and David even said well done!

David said he’s signed another Bokke, some chap called Pedrie Wannenburger who sounds like a splendid great big bloody Boer, which is good. I was so excited by the news that I coloured in South Africa red as we’ve bought all their players now anyway.

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