‘High anxiety whenever your near,
High anxiety, it’s you, I fear.’
I recall in the early 70’s being caught up in a Belfast funeral. There I was in my school uniform kettled in a mob of Belfast’s finest housewives and wondering what would happen next. A volley of shots rang out and a women beside me gushed, “I’m gonna need more valium after this!”
I could empathise with the women’s mental predicament last Saturday as I watched Ulster play Bath. My text’s during the game reflect my high anxiety as the game progressed.
Half an hour into the game and in response to a text stating the bookies had Bath as hot favourites I replied.
‘Looks as though bookies right.’
As the game continued……………
‘Can hardly watch.’
‘Wonder which Ulcer team will appear 2nd half?’
‘James is a thug.’
‘Got his just desserts.’
‘Bad 4 nerves this.’
As Spence did his headstand…..
‘Glory be!’
‘Cannot watch’
‘’Guy on m’board says humph has semtex in his boot going from there.’
‘Pray for this one.’ (As Humph tees up penalty).
‘Feck!’
‘No nerves left.’
‘Can relax now.’
High anxiety indeed.
Howe’s That?
Tyrone’s commentary on SKY came in for a bit of a beating on the UAFC messageboard, especially his eulogising of Butch James, who was eventually carded after one indiscretion too many.
Tyrone is a decent bloke who wouldn’t hurt a fly, except maybe in the tackle and is making his living as a SKY pundit and co-commentator. As needs be, he must put clear water between his Ulster loyalties and the demands of the job.
His article for the Belfast Telegraph perhaps reflects as much the heart as the head when it comes to Ulster. Here’s what he had to say on Butch James.
‘Ulster’s victory was impressive because on this occasion, Bath turned up. This was largely down to the return of Butch James. The Springbok plays his rugby right on the edge and almost overstepped the mark on a few occasions. Like him or loathe him, what is undeniable is that he made an immediate impact on the way and effectiveness with which Bath played the game. Even more impressive was the fact that this was James’ first game since the summer. It is to Ian Humphreys’ credit, then, that he outplayed and overshadowed the Springbok international. ‘
James display was a throwback to his days in the Currie Cup where some of his assaults would have been GBH had they been perpetrated on the street. He has moderated his robust style of defence in recent years but perhaps his lack of match practice and fitness saw him revert to the more thuggish side of his character.
Don’t Take the Humph
Some of the SKY commentators and pundits were eulogising the Humph with Mr. S Barnes leading the chorus. Like Barnesy I love to watch iHumph when on song, he is my kinda player.
Quick on his feet, unpredictable on where he might go next he sometimes fools his own team, let alone the opposition. Ex players like Barnes and Tony Ward are fans of the Humph, because he is a player who plays by instinct and is a throwback to the old style of fly half who are an endangered species in the modern game.
As Neil Young once sang, ‘Long may you run.’
Simply Red
Where James displays his thug credentials on his sleeve others perpetrate a less open and equally deplorable tendency.
Paul O’Connell’s comeback to the big stage lasted just over 10 minutes before exiting stage left when he saw red for a swinging arm. For this misdemeanor he got banned for 4 weeks.
Compare that to the 1 week ban Xavier Rush received for a full frontal high tackle on Courtney Lawes which had the potential to seriously injure his opponents neck and you have to wonder at the consistency of the ERC’s punishments.
The Crow’s Of The Rugby World
O’Connell’s crime was to retaliate against an opponent who was a blatantly offside at the ruck and holding on to the shirt. Having first tried to free himself by pedaling furiously with his legs, O’Connell swung an arm backwards and struck his opponent below the chin.
Some would say Johnathon Thomas got his just desserts and I would heartily agree. In the old days this was the kind of retribution and worse that befell anyone who niggled.
I recall one of the Ulster League’s renowned hitmen receiving a blow to the head and 8 stitches after persistent niggle in the lineout. His opponent had politely asked him to stop the elbows and shirt pulling a number of times before he exacted some rough justice.
As with all bullies there was no end of complaint. This reminds me of the Ospreys. I would confess to an intense dislike of them. They specialise in the kind of niggle to which O’Connell felt obliged to respond to and they lose no time in playing the victim.
The Ospreys seem to spend as much time in the dock and appeal rooms of various rugby authorities as they do on the training ground and with mixed results .
An Osprey is a fine bird in the animal kingdom and the black shirted Welsh rugby version do an injustice to it. They are the crows of the rugby world though that may be a tad harsh on the crows of the animal world.
Robbie Diack – Tweety Philospher
Robbie Diack is fast emerging as Ulster’s most tweety philospher. Last week Robbie tweeted a picture of his quite majestic and ridiculously tall snowman and announced a snowman building competition.
Having recruited ‘Andrew the builder’ to help him, (presumably Bob was otherwise engaged), Robbie and Andrew posed proudly in front of their freshly assembled snowman.
Alas this week, snowy was pictured bent double as though suffering cramp from eating too many mince pies or perhaps he had been used as a tackle bag. Not to be deterred by the demise of his snowman, Robbie was soon turning his attention to wrapping his Christmas presents.
No sooner said, than the appropriate picture of neatly wrapped gifts appeared nestling under the Christmas tree, courtesy of tweeter. This of course is the very same tree Robbie tweeted a picture off a few weeks earlier having spent a whole afternoon decorating it.
What with tinkling the ivories in a classical manner and teaching BJ how to tickle them, in between interesting journey’s in the snow and drinking cappucino in Arizona coffee, Robbie leads a very energetic life. Oh and he still finds time to train as a professional rugby player and play the odd game of rugby very well.
It’s That Time Again
Regrettably the end is near, for 2010 that is and with Ulster on a roll it is time for me to bid my two readers a Happy Christmas and a successful Ulster New Year.
My thanks to the FRU editor for his patience and support not to mention snappy pictures that go with this article.
At this time of the year my mind still goes back to John, a young 22 year old who died playing the game.
Rest in Peace.
Corrections, comments or questions?