Shades of Monochrome
Wouldn’t imagine too many of you are familiar with Jackson Pollock’s broad canvas, ‘Autumn Rhythm’. Up close it is an explosion of paint drippings and swirling marks formed by whirling a stick dipped in paint in a circular motion. There is little sense to the hurly burly of the detail, but draw back and the 18 x 9 foot canvas assumes a monochrome rhythm and pattern.
I was reminded of this visual aspect whilst watching Ulster on Friday night. It is one thing to see the uniformity of Tri nations and Super 14 on TV and quite a shock to witness that morbid game style in the flesh as a spectator. There was a growing realisation as I watched on Friday night that rugby really has assumed a monochromatic complexion in the way the game is played.
For sure it is fast and exciting close up, with the speed of the players into collisions and moving the ball across the backline, quite something to behold. Pull back as though into a wide angle shot and there is an unappealing repetitiveness about it.
The contest at the breakdown has been all but removed and the only way you get the ball back is if the opposition knock on or give away a penalty. With their off loads in contact becoming more fluent as the game went on Bath controlled things so much better, especially the keep ball.
Where We Want to be! Where We Want to be!
Although there was an obvious gulf in experience and class between the teams, as this was a near Ulster 2nd XV, it was clear that some failings from last year remain i.e. failure to take chances and kicks that did not put pressure on the opposition.
This though was a good workout for Ulster with some high impact hits going in and decent opposition. So like the coach I’m not too downhearted but I would like to see some precision from the backs in particular when we turn out at Ravenhill later in the month.
In a pre match interview McGlocks began to sound somewhat like our university educated Education minister with her pronouncement that ‘we where were we are’ with the 11+ saga, which caused a BBC interviewer to splutter into her microphone.
Whilst one imagines Mulligan will have kept his council, I’m sure it passed notice that McLaughlin used the term ‘where we want to be’ more than a few times before pronouncing that losing all 3 friendlies was acceptable as long the team are ready for the visit of the O’s.
Whether the fans will feel the same way is a different matter!
Beanie Awards for Friday Night – Are you shortlisted?.
The South African contingent probably felt they were at Griqua’s on Friday night, with the warm air, drums, catering franchises and spectators shading their eyes into a lowering August sun. Good initiative by the fit controller and based I’m led to believe on the experience of going to a Shark’s match.
As it’s the first game of the season it was a chance to reunite and ignite old friendships.
Spotted, standing in the sunlight, near the catering franchises were the Grousebeaters, looking as if they might burst into flames at any moment. Mercifully they withdrew to the gloomy confines of the beer tent and on to deeper recesses at the top of the old stand. Beanie points to GB2 for buying drink. His pourage purchase was Heineken.
Spotted, making a beeline for the bar in the beer tent, like a Beamer driver heading for a flock of pedestrians crossing, was Ragin’ Raven. Firmly focussed on the bar he failed to spot me and say hello. RR loses beanie points for focussing on single issues. His pourage purchase was not observed.
Spotted in the beer tent – Dergman, aka Monsieur Artois. Earns beanie points for coming over to say hello and bonus beanies for doing his cycle round the Wicklow mountains. Loses a few beanies for being critical of my article on Le Tour whilst not stating what he was being critical about. Can’t remember what his pourage purchase was, but can confirm it wasn’t Stella Artois!
Spotted ambling purposefully to the bar was Glynn Commando, who earns beanie points for smiling across wanly, waving weakly and loses some for not coming over to talk. Like the Raven he was firmly focussed on single issues. GC’s pourage purchase was later confirmed as Murphy’s.
Spotted at the bar in the beer tent were Ding Dong and Merrily on high. Mr. Dong was observed propping up the bar. Well some folk do slide seamlessly from one season to the next. Furtive inspection revealed the bar as structurally sound and it was in fact propping up Mr. Dong. Pourage purchased was Heineken.
Not spotted on Friday, the editor of the FRU who can be excused his absence as he had rather more pressing matters on his mind and in his eyes than mere mortals with plastic beer goggles as is noted elsewhere on this site.
Never Been Seen
Never been spotted at Ravenhill, is John E King, otherwise known as hockey boy. There have been plenty of rumours of his presence, but in all my years of going to Ravenhill I have never ever seen John E King in the ground!
I’m offering a pint to the first person to bring me conclusive proof of his presence at the next home match though I don’t want a head of John the Baptist type scenario! Evidence could be a digital photograph, a lock of hair or a clipping from his Times newspaper or even the chap himself if he’s not as shy as he’s pretending to be!
Beanies in The sun as Useless as Umbrellas in Fog
Talking of beanies, I rushed to SS Moores tent, upon entering the ground to purchase an all new Kukri baseball cap to replace my by now fading CCC one. Of baseball caps there was no sign and I was in fact offered a beanie. As I already had one of those from last season and as I knew the sun would be angled straight unto my eyes on the Terrace, I resolutely turned down this rather wintry offer. No beanie points for Moores.
Strange Brew?
Strangest sight of Friday night was the guy wearing a red and yellow bandana and a pair of very seedy reflective sunglasses. This turned out to be none other than the extremely Original and game Kimble, Chair of the URSC. Kimmy had been to Perps and was so impressed with what he saw he purchased a Perpignan bandana.
Not too sure where he got the daft sunglasses but he wasn’t the only one wearing ridiculous shades amongst the second barrier galoots. Surprised they weren’t wearing beanie hats as well.
The Man from El Monty
I bumped into former Ulster rugby messageboard stalwart El Monty as I left the Moores tent on Friday. Monty had a pocketfui of rumours for me, the best of which was that Gavin Duffy is on his way here from Connaught as soon as they have a replacement for him.
I imagine little Jackie Brown will be suitably mortified to meet one of his heroes whom he described on a messageboard as, ‘Gavin Duffy…ha ha! ha!’
A Rapport of a Sort & a Duet for a Bet
With the very public coming together of the FRU and URSC heads of state it was time to celebrate a great reunion. Dewi and Kimble agreed to duet on Simon and Garfunkel and echo their disgust at fans on the Terrace at the halfway line, who chant and sing things no one understands!
Kimble & Dewi sing together in harmony:
And in the floodlights I saw,
A thousand supporters maybe more.
Supporters drinking without watching,
Supporters watching without thinking
Supporters singing songs that no-one ever heard,
No-one dare, disturb the sound of silence.
…and now Shane (Johnny) Logan sings ‘I Am A Rock’ about how he survives his high pressure job as Chief Executive of Ulster rugby,
I’ve built walls, in a fortress deep and mighty,
That no team may penetrate,
I have no need of friendship, its friendship causes pain,
It’s tittle tattle and loose talk I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.
…and finally Bryn Cunningham sings ‘Bookends’ about the possible end of his playing career.
Game it was and what a game it was,
It was a game of innocence, a game of confidence.
Long ago it must be, I have a photograph.
Preserves my memories, they’re all that’s left to me.
Trust it’s not the end for Bryn, but if it is a long round of applause for a faithful servant to the Ulster cause.
Corrections, comments or questions?