TV KILLED THE RUGBY STAR

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ballpark D-Ream sang ‘Things can Only Get Better’ and of course for a time things seemed to get better under New Labour and Tony Blair who had used the song as their pre election anthem. Of course it was only an illusion. The words of Pete Townsend’s immortal song resonate more than ever these days as the words, ‘meet the new boss, same as the old boss’ sound more prescient than ever.

New Labour proved to be just another load of old hash packaged and dressed up to look as if they were the white the Tories blue could never be with all their old sleazy habits and predilections for backhanders and a taste for being on the make at someone else’s expense. New Labour in the long term proved to be even more adept at the sleaze than their opponents they once castigated.

I know nothing about D-Ream, they were just another pop group with a catchy song that had been hijacked by politicians and Brian Cox their keyboard man was just another pop group face.

Dr. Brian Cox could sing a different tune having achieved a professorship. He is currently regaling audiences on BBC 2 with his take on the solar system. Cox may well present the sexed up face of television but his background, having worked on the Hadron Collider means he is equally well versed in his subject which is the physics of astronomy, the atmospheres, the gravitational pull of planets, the substances of moons and the power of the sun. No pun intended, but it is enlightening and presented in an enlightened manner which makes a heavy and sometimes dense subject matter seem enjoyable and interesting.

Whilst for many, things ultimately got worse under New Labour, for Dr. Cox things only got better. He has his professorship and his views which have now diverged from the New Labour ideology he once leant his name to. Time is a wonderful thing in determining the substance of the solar system just as it is in evaluating the reality of ideology and political manifestations.

There is no stigma in admitting to watching a programme of the physics of astronomy and these days my TV viewing is tinged with all manner of ascending embarrassments ranging from Nordic cross country ski sprints to swordfish fishermen and battling French pastry chefs. Well above this compendium of specialised and uniquely individual events lies the ultimate embarrassment of watching Ulster Rugby on TV.

French pastry chefs competing for the Meullier Olivier award, the chance to become a MOF and wear the cherished red white and blue collar on the chefs uniform is like Top 14, a uniquely French event. Where else, bar the Oscars would you see the Chairman of the MOF judging team go all quivering upper lip as he announced the newest recipients of the Olivier awards.

Mais oui, after 3 solid days of pastry chef labour and the ornate construction of huge sugar coated wedding cakes featuring waltzing couples adorned with intricate sugar coated flower arrangements, monsieur was close to tears as he faced the cameras and announced the winners of the competition. After 3 days of terror, stress, sweat and tears during which one competitor and a judges favourite, saw his labour of love crash to the kitchen floor reducing the watching judges to yet more tears, the end was a mixture of frustration for the losers and swearing to never compete again to pride and glowing joy for the winners. It was almost like sport and made for gripping television as the men from the boulangerie and patisseries that dot France came together in Lyon to do battle for an award which set them up as elite amongst pastry chefs for the rest of their life.

As the chair of the MOF’s explained they were looking to see if the recipient of the award would be able to operate at a consistently high level as a MOF and not just produce a one off piece on the day. Thus the competitor who dropped his highly ornate cake was awarded the MOF award because he demonstrated a consistently high quality in his presentations throughout the 3 days. That is part of the unique quality of this competition.

Swordfish fishing is at the other end of the delicatessen spectrum with the overriding concern commercial rather than skill and finesse. Long lines of fish hooks reel out across the Grand Banks off Newfoundland as captains try to maximise their catch and make enough money to cover the cost of operating a boat and hiring a crew. The welfare and well being of the swordfish comes a distinct second as they are unceremoniously fish hooked and hauled gasping unto deck to be beheaded and stored in ice. It is gripping television as the caprices of the weather and the power of the sea operate like vengeful old men. It is in these waters, off the Grand Banks that the film ‘The Perfect Storm’ is based and where a storm can brew within hours making a benign sea turn into a churning hell causing even the most grizzled skipper to manifest fear.

I was going to write about my ultimate embarrassments and grovelling admission that I watch Ireland and Ulster rugby on TV. The subsequent paragraphs have been left blank to let my true thoughts on the subject show through in a transparent and forthright manner:

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If you watch rugby league on TV these days I would imagine you form a minority grouping of people who continue view this once traditional game now diluted down to a caricature. The last time I saw a game of League it appeared to have been tactically stripped bare, with the only sure fire way of scoring being to punt the ball into the corner on the fifth tackle and hope the attacking player caught it or the defender mucked up the catch. Rugby League sold its soul to the devil before union but as in league the portents for anonymity of union are beginning to loom, as a blip on the screen albeit, the signs nevertheless are being posted.

John O’Neill the ARU Chief Executive reminds me of the swordfish captains I mentioned in the previous paragraphs. Rough, tough and commercially focused with little regard for the end product. No coincidence that O’Neill has been in the forefront of tailoring the union game to fit his commercial agenda. There is no doubt in my mind that he has SKY TV as bedfellows given what would appear to be a decline in audiences watching the Southern Hemisphere game both live and on TV.

Commercialism has always been at the heart of professional sport and rugby union is no different in that it depends not so much on bums on seat but on the power and revenue of television. There is no doubt SKY has been instrumental in bringing the game to a much wider audience than game could ever hope achieve by other means. In entering into a Faustian pact with the devil there is a necessity rather than a desire to do a deal. Something of the soul must be given up even if it at first the benefits appear to outweigh the negatives. It is only now the price of SKY TV is becoming apparent.

Two years ago the Northern Hemisphere game was in ascendancy with spectator numbers up, a vibrant Heineken Cup competition and Southern Hemisphere players lining up to play up north not just for the money but the rugby which had a more traditional flavour. Down Australia way the acerbic John O’Neil was pontificating on the draining away of rugby union spectators with a particular eye on his own commercial backyard Australia.

Enter further tinkering of the laws and two years on the game in the Northern hemisphere is a mess of aerial ping pong, remorseless body charging at what is euphemistically called a ruck but is in fact wrestling Traditional use of the boot at rucks to remove bodies that get in the way deliberately is so heavily policed as to be extinct. Referees put their own brand of interpretation on the laws and advise the players accordingly. It is the middle of the Northern Hemisphere season and referees are instructed to interpret the game at the ruck in a different way from before. The Northern Hemisphere’s premier international tournament the 6N is being refereed by Southern Hemisphere referees who are policing the game in accordance with tinkered laws now applied at the start of super 14 which has had a falling audience base. By the look of empty seats in the background to much of the games the sexing up of the union game is failing to ignite audiences.

The Southern Hemisphere naturally enough adapt their game to suit the new laws but each time there is a further reduction in the tenets upon which the game is traditionally based. There is a super 14 game on TV as I type. There is hardly a lineout in it and as part of the sexing up the ball is in play for much longer. The ruck in its traditional form has all but disappeared with the attacking team committing up to 3 times the number of players as defenders. Usually 1 or 2 defenders commit to the ruck whilst the rest fan out. There is little of the aerial ping pong that blights the Northern game as both teams elect to run the ball. The hard pitches of the southern game suit this. Ultimately the overriding impression one gets is of uniformity and a monochrome feel to the game that shows the game heading in the direction of League.

The IRB seems in thrall of the southern hemisphere interests with the north generally following lemming like in the wake of southern hemisphere tinkering. Clearly a revolt by the northern unions would lead to split in the game between north and south and it is doubtful this would be good for the game in much the same way as the disintegration of the boxing governing bodies has led to a lack of interest in what was once a premier sport. However with the game in a mess up here and having to put up with a change of emphasis halfway through the season there is little doubt that the credibility of the game here is being stretched and in a time of recession spectators may well opt to take their money elsewhere rather than put up with the caprices of the game. If the 6N games proved anything it was that generally the team that opted to attack ball in hand were generally the losers.

Clearly the same laws but different interpretations by the coaches of how to best play them. I note Brian McLaughlin earlier in the week was going on about the interpretation of the laws by referees here and you gotta say, if he sounds confused just think how the everyman spectator feels.

What the game needs now is more MOF’s, judges who are in tune with the competitors, rooted in the traditions of the sport, the game and its skills, just like the French pastry chef judges and not the commercially vulgar practitioners of commercial swordfishing whose only priority is making a quick buck. Clearly the Northern Hemisphere representation at the IRB needs a Dr. Brian Cox. Someone who can get their message across, however sexed up it is but still rooted in the core values and tenets that made the game what it is.

I believe rugby union is in crisis with a genetic rugby engineering programme underway, courtesy of southern hemisphere IRB individuals, to morph the game into a dumbed down version of union and a bastardised version of League. This must be resisted by the NH unions and core values that underpin rugby union restored. The ruck should be reinstated in its pure form, the value of the set piece returned to its traditional pre-eminence and tactical kicking now non existent in Super 14 and blighting the NH game should be given its rightful place.

Where death from analysis by video has become the coaches domain and led to the killing of a players rugby instinct on the pitch so TV will ultimately subsume the rugby star. The game is heading for a pattern-less uniformity and extinction of its variations in tactics and core skills. You heard it here, not for the first or the last.

As BJ Botha might say, ‘If you can’t understand the laws get off the pitch.’


3 responses to “TV KILLED THE RUGBY STAR”

  1. Raging Raven

    Another interesting article BP. Make no bones about the southern hemisphere are insanely jealous of our own six nations. Five games in eight weeks all of which actually mean something to the supporter. Most played out to full stadiums, the top three stadiums having over 80,000 this is something the southern hemisphere crave. People don’t want to see a mixture of rugby league and touch rugby that the Super 14 is becoming ……. just look at the empty seats. O’Neill in Australia will not be happy until he has changed the great game of rugby union into a circus act if he thought it would put more bums,and there are plenty of them in Australia, on seats. So greedy and jealous Australia and NZ are of the 6 Nations they actually demanded a cut of the 6 Nations gate money to admit Argentina into the soon to be 4 Nations in the Southern Hemisphere. I say stuff them ………. we don’t need them …. all they do is try and change the rules annually to suit their circus act. They can also keep there referees, have you ever seen a bunch of self publicising officials, I bet you can remember every 6 Nations match refereed by a SH ref this season. That is not good.

  2. johnny king

    Writing as a humble “hockey boy” who knows his place, I have struggled to understand many of the more convaluted laws of rugby union. However, in keeping with your point about the interpretation of the laws, I have frequently asked my “rugby boy” chums to explain the decision behind the awarding of a particular penalty only to be met either by a sea of shrugging shoulders or at least three different explanations. Admittedly most of these guys were forwards in their playing days.

    On the southern hemisphere influence, surely while Australia, New Zealand and South Africa continue to dominate on the international scene, they will be the ones who are listened to by the IRB.

    On a pedantic note, the correct name is the Large Hadron Collider. Apparently.

    1. ballpark

      Sorry John E King, I had not realised that the full name was Large Hadron Collider Apparently!

      Fair point on the IRB The SH teams rankings are by and large based on playing friendlies and as such the SH teams gain better results. It is the competitive games that are suffering in the NH and it is these games that the bread and butter for NH teams. It is not without suspicion that I guess the rule changes have been made in time for the world cup as part of NZ’s quest for world domination in that competition.

      I rate the NH rugby spectator highly in that many have played rugby and have a basic understanding of the game therefore when you start to disenfranchise these individuals by law interpretations, you know that the game is beginning to suffer as a spectator sport.

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